Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sweet & Sour.

Creating relationships with others, in my mind, is the stuff of life. Yet, a few of the most important players in my life would lead me to believe otherwise. For example, some feel that all of us are better off alone; that taking the effort to build a relationship with someone will only lead to disappointment and the resulting failure of the relationship. I am not a risk taker by nature, however I do believe in "taking the plunge" when it comes to getting to know another individual.

What is it that keeps some from developing new relationships with others? Is it really the disappointment of another's mistake that inevitably breaks their heart? Or is it the anxiety that someone might see through to the real them? Is it possible they are too afraid to dig within themselves to see what they are truly made of and give that to another individual? On the other hand, what is it that keeps some craving the development of new relationships with others? Is it the spark that ignites and excites a new relationship; the possible beginning of something beautiful? Could it be the give and take or the highs and lows that add color to an otherwise bland life? Or is it the comfort of looking back on years of sweet memories that belong to you? I will keep my answers to myself for now.

In my opinion, friendships, relationships and individuals are worth fighting for. Being afraid of disappointment, failure or even of yourself, is no reason to live life alone. Friends and lovers play pivotal roles in life's experiences, for better or for worse, that cannot be replaced. There is nothing quite like meeting your best friend for the first time, staying up until 5 AM chatting, realizing you have never met another person like this in your life. Falling in love with the person who takes your breath away and drives you crazy at the same time. The experience of your first heartbreak. Finding it nearly impossible to sleep soundly again after letting go of the one whom you should have fought for. Realizing you have been stabbed in the back. Trying to forget your crazy ex. Trying not to be the crazy ex. Feeling safe knowing there will be the one with whom you can always pick up where you left off. Each of us have them in our lives; they just have different names and different faces. At some point, there was a struggle of some sort between us and them. And it was worth it. It was worth it because it added a dimension to our personality that was previously missing; a dimension that defines who we are right now, whether we want to admit it or not.

While I might not ever agree with the other side of this argument, I suppose I can live and let live. Whatever works for you, works for you. Do I believe that those on the other side are missing out on some incredible relationships because they choose to live life behind a brick wall? Absolutely. Yes, it takes courage to allow another individual to search through you to find your very core. Yes, you will still feel lonely, even in a crowd of people. Yes, you will get your heart ripped out and you will definitely be disappointed beyond belief at times. But now and then, you will strike gold by finding the most beautiful individuals with which to surround yourself; those that make you feel alive and infinite. And only then can one realize that the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I give up. The time has come for me to have my own blog. Even though I feel the pressure to be consistently creative, I feel safe knowing I will have a creative outlet whenever I feel like it. Here goes.

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My dad recorded "The Late Show with David Letterman" on our VCR each night while I was growing up. He would screen it for my innocent eyes - skipping over the boring guests or the raucous skits - and we would watch the highlights the next evening over dinner. No matter what, though, we always watched the top ten list. I can confidently say that because of David Letterman, I am a life-long list lover. They rule my life and I believe each individual should have their own top-ten list - a personal history or just some fun facts about themselves. Here is mine.

1. I have never seen myself living anywhere but Indianapolis. Don't hate.
2. I have played guitar and written and recorded music for ten years, but because of my shyness most people that know me have never heard me play.
3. I never went to college and I don't mind you knowing that.
4. I place great importance on interesting, thought-provoking conversations, but I have been known to overuse the phrase, "talk is cheap".
5. I struggle with an addiction to McDonald's Diet Coke.
6. I believe in having a handful of proven, trustworthy friends, rather than an arsenal of acquaintances.
7. I will forever be a dog person. Cats (NOT kittens) are extremely lame.
8. I have very little fashion sense and mostly rely on others to plan and approve my outfits through the use of mobile phone picture messaging capabilities.
9. I believe Chef Boyardee to be a culinary genius.
10. I have to sing my ABC's to recall alphabetical order and I still count on my fingers. Perhaps #3 needs more consideration.

Nice to meet you, too.